Jimmy Carter Says

Tough Love Actually Racist 

Against the POTUS 

Hiatus Over

September 16, 2009

Hiatus over.

Sorry about the absence

We’ll post more now, k?

Sarah-Palin-Miss-Wasilla-1984Palin calls the press

No questions are allowed, please

Smiling, she resigns

SanfordA governor unfaithful

Constituents ungrateful

For his service to the nation

Because of some vacation

To see his Argentine

And do something obscene

Then tell his wife he’ll stay

and push his “soul mate away”

But why is this big news?

And why do constituents lose?

Just because he cheated

And showed a wife mistreated

It happens every day

In every single way

No need to set an example

The examples are ample

So Sanford, do what you want

Just be nonchalant

I’m sick of seeing so much hypocrisy

Laced in with all the democracy.

The disputed president of Iran is extremely ticked

About the harsh words our Messiah The Obama picked

Describing the state crackdown upon Persian protesters

Who allege that the recent elections were definitely rigged

***

All puffy and pink, an apology was demanded by Mahmud

Who found Obama’s use of lukewarm words rather rude

But Barack and Chancellor Merkel stood hand in hand

As the President smiled, and said “seriously, dude?”

The fans were waiting for a trade
the rights to Bouwmeester would be ours
and after all, the draft was here
we’d have him signed with a few hours

Instead he’s gone to Calgary
and we’ve picked up a kid from Kirkland
we’ll never get that awesome D
or make it past the second round

I’ve heard the virtues of patience extolled
and good things come to those who wait
but this is year 6 of the five year plan
so I can’t help but stir up debate

It’s not Leblanc’s fault, of course
he doesn’t know what’s still to come
he’s be a hero, then a goat
he’ll ‘love it here’, and then he’ll run

this is the story of all our boys
of Robidas, Ribeiro, Theodore,
Beauchemin – and the list goes on –
who go become part of another team’s lore

“Anyone who wants to buy shares in Nigaz…
…can do so” reads the news
but who exactly named the venture –
a name sure to confuse

Seems Russian giant Gazpromrussian-bear
had a bright idea
to traverse to Africa
across the big blue sea

And invest in Nigerian gas
and total blaxploitation
then named the company NIGAZ
without a thought of caution

I wonder what Nigerians think
of their newfound gassy status
perhaps they’ll simply ignore their new nick
take a cue, and drink to Bacchus

Or maybe they’ll revolt
and overtake the backers
renaming the entire company
to now be called “CRACKERS”

thriller-michael-jackson

Fawcett, McMahon dead

Michael Jackson follows them

Perez lives. Damnit.

Everyday

people die

every day every hour every minute every breath

is unexpected

is suspected of the endless possibilities of

the end.

But when that breathdeath

belongs to Jacko

belongs to an angel

-never mind that she was waiting

when that breath is famous breath

it counts for more

it eats up time

it swallows shock

it gathers steam

pushes possible wars

detention

police brutality

to page 2

but does it make you think of you?

Sung to the beat of Salt N Pepa’s Shoop. Kinda.

Uh, uh, here I go, here I go, here I go again.jon_and_kate_plus8

Folks, what was their weakness?

FAME.

okay then chilling, filming, doing her book tours (word)

Yo, Kate, turned TV on and she couldn’t believe this

She swore, she stared, her agent her witness

Her husband had it goin’ on with somethin’ kinda..uh

Teacher? Teacher? (ooo) – She was a teacher?

Jon ain’t shy so he asked for the digits

A pro? No that don’t make her

See what he want slip slide to it quickly

Felt it in her tips, so Kate dipped her nails gently into security

Then she flipped at the tabloids, loving gettin’ the attention

Flicked Jon like a dog should be flicked

Came to their senses and chilled for a bit

Don’t know how they do the ratings that they do

So well it’s a show and they screwed themselves ova

makes me wanna see, see see see, see seee see see see!

Told you so.

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